Experience the lighter side of the beautiful game with our collection of funny quotes about football. From witty remarks to hilarious anecdotes, these quotes will make you laugh out loud as you explore the comical aspects of the world’s favorite sport. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just someone looking for a good chuckle, these quotes will keep you entertained and remind you that football is not always about goals and trophies – it’s also about the joy of the game.”
Football, known for its intense matches and passionate fans, also has its fair share of comical moments and quirky characters. These quotes capture the wit, sarcasm, and hilarity that surround the game. Share a laugh with fellow fans or use these quotes to add a touch of humor to your game day conversations. Explore the lighter side of football, and remember that even in the heat of the match, there’s room for a good joke.
Funny Quotes About Football
“Football is not a matter of life and death; it’s much more important than that.” – Bill Shankly
“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” – George Best
“The only thing that can stop a game of football is halftime and your mom calling you for dinner.”
“I’m not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well.” – Arsene Wenger
“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” – Eddie Guerrero
“I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.” – Ian Rush
“I couldn’t see myself playing in the Premier League at 40. Not because I wouldn’t be good enough, but I just couldn’t see myself doing it.” – Ryan Giggs
“I used to play football for a team called West Ham. Until they kicked me out.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I’m so fast that last night, I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Muhammad Ali
“I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully, after that as well.” – Alan Shearer
“Why do soccer players do well in school? They know how to use their heads.”
“It’s like football’s a big pancake, and the butter’s right in the middle.” – Troy Polamalu
“When you’ve got something to prove, there’s nothing greater than a challenge.” – Terry Bradshaw
“In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.” – Arnold H. Glasow
“I am a hero in a half shell. My game is football, not fighting Shredder.”
“If you’re attacking, you don’t get as tired as when you’re chasing.” – Kyle Rote, Jr.
“It’s not about the name on the back of the jersey. It’s about the badge on the front.”
“I learned all about life with a ball at my feet.” – Ronaldinho
“Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” – Bill Shankly
“When you’ve got the ball, you get to make all the decisions.” – John Madden
“I never make predictions, and I never will.” – Paul Gascoigne
“I’d like to be the perfect player, but nobody’s perfect. So I can’t be perfect.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
“In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
“Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of controlling the ball and making yourself available to receive a pass. It is terribly simple.” – Bill Shankly
“I’d say the pressure comes more from myself than anyone else. I feel it, but I don’t need other people to tell me about it.” – David Beckham
“I’m in the game of soccer to score goals.” – Mia Hamm
“The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.” – Lewis Grizzard
“I think people who score goals in football, but also score goals in life, are the most interesting people.” – Alain Robert
“Soccer is all very well, but there is one thing football has that no other sport has: the hooligans.” – Peter Cook
“If a team wants to intimidate you physically and you let them, they’ve won.” – John Madden
“You have to fight to reach your dream. You have to sacrifice and work hard for it.” – Lionel Messi
“When they start the game, they don’t yell, ‘Work ball.’ They say, ‘Play ball.'” – Willie Stargell
“When you play soccer, most of the time you got to get the ball moving, but once you get into that attacking third you can be creative.” – Abby Wambach
“I don’t know what I would do without football. My life would be boring. I love it.” – Lionel Messi
“It’s all about the ball at your feet. It’s all about the game between the lines. It’s all about what happens between the lines.” – Thierry Henry
“I always trust my gut reaction; it’s always right.” – Katarina Witt
“Football is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the fewest mistakes wins.” – Johan Cruyff
“I’m a very simple guy. I’m very simple to please.” – David Beckham
“I think it’s very important to pursue the things you love and see where they lead you.” – Diego Luna
“I’m just a simple guy. I don’t need to overcomplicate things.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
“I would say I’m a non-conformist. I think it’s necessary to be, to stand up for what you believe in.” – David Beckham
“Winning is the only thing that makes me happy.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
“I believe that every player has his own level. I don’t try to compare myself with anyone else.” – Lionel Messi
“I’m not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well.” – Arsène Wenger
“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” – Babe Ruth
“Football is like life – it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and respect for authority.” – Vince Lombardi
“Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.” – Pelé
“There’s no in-between – you’re either good or bad. We were in-between.” – Robbie Keane
“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” – Vince Lombardi
“In football, the worst things are excuses. Excuses mean you cannot grow or move forward.” – Pep Guardiola
“Soccer is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.” – Gary Lineker
“Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end, the Germans always win.” – Gary Lineker (about the Germans)
“Soccer is simple, but it is difficult to play simple.” – Johan Cruyff
“The only thing I can’t understand is why Italian teams at home can play so well, but as soon as they go away, they struggle.” – Johan Cruyff
“I couldn’t become a footballer. I’m not really good at playing football, so I became a football coach.” – Arsène Wenger
“I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it’s called biathlon. In the United States, it’s called the second amendment.” – Demetri Martin
“My greatest challenge is not what’s happening at the moment, my greatest challenge was knocking Liverpool right off their f*****g perch. And you can print that.” – Sir Alex Ferguson
“I once cried because I had no shoes to play football with my friends, but one day, I saw a man who had no feet, and I realized how rich I am.” – Zinedine Zidane
“If a team wants to intimidate you physically and you let them, they’ve won.” – John Madden
“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.” – Dave Barry
“The first 90 minutes are the most important.” – Bobby Robson
“The trouble with referees is that they just don’t care which side wins.” – Tom Canterbury
“Some people tell me that we professional players are soccer slaves. Well, if this is slavery, give me a life sentence.” – Sir Bobby Charlton
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Anonymous
“When you’re 4-0 up, you should never lose 7-1.” – Lawrie McMenemy
“Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? Because he wanted to tie up the score.” – Anonymous
“If you’re attacking, you don’t get as tired as when you’re chasing.” – Kyle Rote, Jr.
“I don’t believe skill was, or ever will be, the result of coaches. It is a result of a love affair between the child and the ball.” – Roy Keane
“Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.” – Bill Shankly
“There’s no in-between – you’re either good or bad. We were in-between.” – Robbie Keane
“Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.” – Gary Lineker
“I couldn’t become a footballer. I’m not really good at playing football, so I became a football coach.” – Arsène Wenger
“In football, the worst things are excuses. Excuses mean you cannot grow or move forward.” – Pep Guardiola
“Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of controlling the ball and making yourself available to receive a pass. It is terribly simple.” – Bill Shankly
“I’m a firm believer that if the other side scores, you have to score twice to win.” – Howard Wilkinson
“In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
“Football is like life – it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and respect for authority.” – Vince Lombardi
“I’m not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well.” – Arsène Wenger
“The first 90 minutes are the most important.” – Bobby Robson
“I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it’s called biathlon. In the United States, it’s called the second amendment.” – Demetri Martin
“The trouble with referees is that they just don’t care which side wins.” – Tom Canterbury
“Soccer is simple, but it is difficult to play simple.” – Johan Cruyff
“I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.” – Ian Rush
“Football is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the fewest mistakes wins.” – Johan Cruyff
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Anonymous
“I used to play football for a team called West Ham. Until they kicked me out.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I’m so fast that last night, I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Muhammad Ali
“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” – Vince Lombardi
“I think it’s very important to pursue the things you love and see where they lead you.” – Diego Luna
“I’m just a simple guy. I don’t need to overcomplicate things.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
“Soccer is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.” – Gary Lineker
“It’s all about the ball at your feet. It’s all about the game between the lines. It’s all about what happens between the lines.” – Thierry Henry
“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.” – Dave Barry
“I’m in the game of soccer to score goals.” – Mia Hamm
“When you’ve got the ball, you get to make all the decisions.” – John Madden
“When you play soccer, most of the time you got to get the ball moving, but once you get into that attacking third you can be creative.” – Abby Wambach
“I believe that every player has his own level. I don’t try to compare myself with anyone else.” – Lionel Messi
“I once cried because I had no shoes to play football with my friends, but one day, I saw a man who had no feet, and I realized how rich I am.” – Zinedine Zidane
“Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of controlling the ball and making yourself available to receive a pass. It is terribly simple.” – Bill Shankly
“Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” – Bill Shankly
“When you’ve got the ball, you get to make all the decisions.” – John Madden
“I never make predictions, and I never will.” – Paul Gascoigne
“I used to play football for a team called West Ham. Until they kicked me out.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I’m so fast that last night, I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Muhammad Ali
“I’m a firm believer that if the other side scores, you have to score twice to win.” – Howard Wilkinson
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Anonymous
“I’m a very simple guy. I’m very simple to please.” – David Beckham
“If a team wants to intimidate you physically and you let them, they’ve won.” – John Madden
“I’d say the pressure comes more from myself than anyone else. I feel it, but I don’t need other people to tell me about it.” – David Beckham
“I’m in the game of soccer to score goals.” – Mia Hamm
“I couldn’t become a footballer. I’m not really good at playing football, so I became a football coach.” – Arsène Wenger
“In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.” – Arnold H. Glasow
“The only thing that can stop a game of football is halftime and your mom calling you for dinner.”
“I’m not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well.” – Arsene Wenger
“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” – Eddie Guerrero
“I couldn’t see myself playing in the Premier League at 40. Not because I wouldn’t be good enough, but I just couldn’t see myself doing it.” – Ryan Giggs
“I used to play football for a team called West Ham. Until they kicked me out.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I’m so fast that last night, I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Muhammad Ali
“I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully, after that as well.” – Alan Shearer
“Why do soccer players do well in school? They know how to use their heads.”
“It’s like football’s a big pancake, and the butter’s right in the middle.” – Troy Polamalu
“When you’ve got something to prove, there’s nothing greater than a challenge.” – Terry Bradshaw
“In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
“I am a hero in a half shell. My game is football, not fighting Shredder.”
“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” – Eddie Guerrero
“I’m not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well.” – Arsene Wenger
“I think people who score goals in football, but also score goals in life, are the most interesting people.” – Alain Robert
“Soccer is all very well, but there is one thing football has that no other sport has: the hooligans.” – Peter Cook
“Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of controlling the ball and making yourself available to receive a pass. It is terribly simple.” – Bill Shankly
“I’d say the pressure comes more from myself than anyone else. I feel it, but I don’t need other people to tell me about it.” – David Beckham
“I’m so fast that last night, I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Muhammad Ali
“I’d like to be the perfect player, but nobody’s perfect. So I can’t be perfect.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
“In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
“Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.” – Gary Lineker
“Soccer is simple, but it is difficult to play simple.” – Johan Cruyff
“The only thing I can’t understand is why Italian teams at home can play so well, but as soon as they go away, they struggle.” – Johan Cruyff
“I couldn’t become a footballer. I’m not really good at playing football, so I became a football coach.” – Arsène Wenger
“I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it’s called biathlon. In the United States, it’s called the second amendment.” – Demetri Martin
“My greatest challenge is not what’s happening at the moment, my greatest challenge was knocking Liverpool right off their f*****g perch. And you can print that.” – Sir Alex Ferguson
“I once cried because I had no shoes to play football with my friends, but one day, I saw a man who had no feet, and I realized how rich I am.” – Zinedine Zidane
“If a team wants to intimidate you physically and you let them, they’ve won.” – John Madden
“You have to fight to reach your dream. You have to sacrifice and work hard for it.” – Lionel Messi
“When they start the game, they don’t yell, ‘Work ball.’ They say, ‘Play ball.'” – Willie Stargell
“When you play soccer, most of the time you got to get the ball moving, but once you get into that attacking third you can be creative.” – Abby Wambach
“I don’t know what I would do without football. My life would be boring. I love it.” – Lionel Messi
“It’s all about the ball at your feet. It’s all about the game between the lines. It’s all about what happens between the lines.” – Thierry Henry
“I always trust my gut reaction; it’s always right.” – Katarina Witt
“Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of controlling the ball and making yourself available to receive a pass. It is terribly simple.” – Bill Shankly
“I’d say the pressure comes more from myself than anyone else. I feel it, but I don’t need other people to tell me about it.” – David Beckham
“I’m a hero in a half shell. My game is football, not fighting Shredder.”