Funny diet captions for Instagram. Use these quotes when you’re feeling frisky on Instagram with your friends, family, and pets. Some pictures are just too good not to share and many of them involve food. If your friends didn’t know you were on a diet before, they probably do now. Fit for everyone in your life (especially those who follow you) these captions make the perfect filter friends.
Funny Diet Captions for Instagram With Quotes
• I don’t diet. If there are cupcakes in the house, I won’t just eat one
• If you’re trying to lose weight, don’t do this, okay? Just eat right and exercise.
• The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
• I’m on a diet and I ate a salad with the dressing on the side.
• A little more workout and a little less snacks, and flawless abs
• Today my salad and I are not on speaking terms.
• To quote my fitness coach, “You have to find the point where you stop being polite and start getting real.”
• Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.
• Those who think they have no time for health will sooner or later have to find time for illness. ~Edward Stanley
• Always remember that there is a 5-step process to fixing any problem:
• The only reason I’m on a diet is because I heard the ice cream might be better if you’re on a diet.
• The struggle is real, at least where food is concerned. #dotheplacetobe #keto
• Anyone could lose weight; it’s just a matter of staying out of the cupcake aisle.
• The keto diet is all the rage right now, but I’ll always be fat and proud.
• If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say, “You should go on a diet.”, I’d be skinny.
• There is no good reason to eat 2 of these cookies. But that’s not gonna stop me!
• I’m not into New Year’s diets, I’m only into new year’s resolutions.
• It’s my cheat day. I can eat whatever I want, plus more of it. (haha get it?)
• You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
• Grab a Diet Coke and get your sweat on! Because when you’re done working out, you deserve it. Anytime, anyplace. #DietCoke
• If you’re looking for a healthy way to lose weight and keep it off, you might be in the wrong place.
• I want to lose weight so bad, that I’m starting a diet tomorrow.
• I want to lose weight, so I’m eating a balanced diet. That way I can’t buck it.
• Make peace with food. Otherwise, it will make peace with you.
• You’re looking for the secret of success? Don’t tell anyone and don’t show yourself till you’ve succeeded.
• Be honest with yourself: you’re not having any fun on this diet. Why live life without fully experiencing it?
• You can do anything for 15 minutes. That’s how long it takes to eat a cupcake
• My resolutions: 1. Lose the carbs 2. Eat more greens 3. Yoga 4. Vegan 5. Get a dog 6. Send less emails
• “I count calories. But I don’t know what they are.
• I must admit, the healthiest thing I do is to take a nap.
• I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam-I
• “If you think the jeans you like are too expensive, try the real ones on.”
• We’re not moving and grooving to another part of the kitchen—we’re going dancing.
• Let’s face it, no one wants to be dieting in July. But if you’re looking for a smart way to lose weight and keep it off, we’ve got your back.
• Let’s get one thing straight. Dieting is boring. So is eating plain chicken and potatoes all the time. Why not make the journey to a healthy lifestyle fun?
• I’m on a salad diet. I’ve lost three pounds already, and if I eat another bite…I’ll drop another ten.
• Dieting is hard, but can you imagine if we weren’t always on diets? That’s ridiculous.
• Start your day with a positive body image.
• Have you heard the news? Turmeric latte is this year’s hottest drink.
• When your body is a temple, don’t be an atheist.
• If you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it.
• You’re never going to be able to motivate someone unless you have the experience that they are seeking.
• Don’t diet, just eat healthy and exercise. #NoGimmicksNeeded
• My inspiration for a healthy diet: If you want to be a hot dog, put yourself in the bun.
• Are you a diet coke with lemon or an ice tea with lemon?
• “I’d be so good at dieting if I wasn’t good at eating” – Hillary Clinton
• I’m not a salad person. Or a veggie person. My name is not rabbit🐇, it’s Cesar.
• WELP, I’m 6 months into my diet and I’ve changed my mind.
• You don’t regret eating bacon, you regret *not eating* bacon
• I’ll be the one eating ice cream in an orange bathing suit. You know, because I live life on the edge.
• Cut through the noise and focus on what matters most- YOU!
• Squeezing in workouts between glow stick applications isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. You just have to Keep on Shining.
• If you’re grinding on the same yesterday, then today will take care of itself More here
• Baby steps are still steps in the right direction.
• Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you need to lose some weight if you eat a salad 🥗 👀
• Always remember that you can’t spell Diet without DIETER.
• There is no diet. There is only pizza and cake.
• Eat clean and dress dirty and feel awesome while you lose the extra flab.
• You don’t have to look like a fitness model to be a fitness model—you just have to do fitness model activities.
• I don’t diet, I just don’t eat carbs.
• I’m not a piece, I’m a whole pizza 🍕
• I mean, what’s a workout without a few dozen selfies right?
• I’m on a diet that lets me eat anything I want, as long as I’m hungry an hour after.
• Stop getting caught up in what you can’t have. Start living better with Quaker Real Medleys.
• Relationships are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.
• No regrets, only extra inches!
• “I’m not stressed, just really busy starving.”
• Eat right, exercise, and live longer.
• Are you a Michael Jordan? Or a Derek Jeter? Because if you’re the former, you might want to stop eating like the latter. 😕
• “Being healthy is the new sexy.”― Salma Hayek
• Eating clean doesn’t have to be boring. Just ask @healthy.living on Instagram
• A Diet Coke and a smile that’s all it takes to put the world on ice 🍫☀️
• I’m confused. The calories in these things is a mystery to me! But the #weightloss results are not. *mind blown*
• Losing weight is hard. Like really f*cking hard. And if you’re on a diet and it’s making you miserable, all the willpower in the world won’t help.
• The worst part of dieting is getting hungry between meals.
• I eat my greens so I’m always ready for my close-up.
• I swear, I’ve lost 10 pounds because I got a new plastic surgeon.
• I’m literally wearing 5 belts. I’m going to lose 5 belts by Christmas. Mark my words 😎
• If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. #FallisComing
• My abs are like the Himalayas…I haven’t seen them in a while.
• It’s easy to fall off the bandwagon. Let’s just hope we all have a wagon to get back on.
• You have to feel the burn to see the fruits.
• If you love food, you will lose weight. If you hate food, you will lose weight. #Funny #DietQuotes
• You’re not just on a diet. You’re living in it. #dietseason
• Do not let the diet industry discourage you!
• Being bad never felt so good… 🍫 🍪 🥧 (If it’s not real, don’t eat it. If it’s not food, don’t eat it.)
• I’m on a diet. I’m eating my food and drinking it too.
• I love to eat like I’m in a movie about gluttony and then exercise for 2 hours like in a movie about self-control.
• I’m not a foodie, I’m just… selective.
• Put down the pumpkin spice latte and pick up a green smoothie. It’s time to start loving your body, not punishing it.
• I am on a pizza diet. I eat pizza, not because I’m hungry, but simply because it’s the dough that’s making me fat.
• I drink coffee to survive your tweets.
• You did it! You survived another week of work, school, and stress. Now treat yourself to a smoothie or you’ll never make it through next week. 😁
• Eat laziness, not food.
• You can go ahead and cut down all the good trees if you want to, but Mother Nature is going to grow them back.
• Don’t buy into the mentality that you can’t seize your day because you’re on a diet! You can still get what you want out of life, just minus two slices of pizza. 😋
• I’d call these #dietgoals, but the only thing I want to go is my stomach.
• I’m no diet Coke connoisseur, but I can tell you this: Diet Coke tastes better out of a glass bottle.
• You can kiss that sugar goodbye when you’re drinking an orange-lover’s dream juice! 😜 #DetoxSeason
• Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels — Kate Moss
• Oh hi there. I’m not trying to brag but I’ve been working out a lot lately and can eat like this everyday.
• No one wants to look at your salad.
• What’s a well-balanced breakfast? Eggs and bacon, duh 😉
• Don’t call me skinny. I know I’m fat.
• Sugar is the root of all evil, but a salad ain’t nothin’ to play with either.
• It takes 21 days to make a habit. So, show us new habits and we’ll support your progress on the journey!
• Ain’t nobody got time for that.
• Want to know why I don’t diet? Because I don’t eat 🍕
• If you can’t join them, beat them. #NoCarbsAfter5pm
• Doesn’t it feel like the holidays are over when you’re on a diet?…
• If the pizza fits, you must Instagram.
• There are a lot of ways to eat healthy on the Starbucks food menu. Happy National Nutrition Month. 😋
• The only good cookie is a healthy cookie 😌
• I’m not a foodie but I can still appreciate the taste of bacon.
• BTW, my thighs are the same width. 😂🍑
• Don’t count anti-inflammatory foods. They don’t count!
• Haters gonna hate. Fries gonna fry.
• I’m sorry but I was running late, so that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. 😜
• The yogurt diet. You eat yogurt. And you lose weight. It’s only three days but it seems like forever #thankyogurt
• Get your 👺 on with this Halloween-themed diet-friendly meal plan. There’s no need to be scared of carbs and sugar.
• Science has proven that laughter is the best medicine. So, if you’re going to take a pill for the way you look, at least make it the kind that makes you happy 😊
• Hey Weight Watchers, I’m too busy to count calories and Points—just feed me pizza and wine.
• I’m on a diet. I see food and then I eat it.
• You can’t eat your cake and keep it too. #justkidding
• When life gives you lemons, make sure that lemonade is on point 👍 #CutTheCrap
• If you ask me, the only thing better than eating a donut is eating a donut in the shape of a heart.
• I’m so hungry that I could eat a bowl of alphabet pasta.
• It’s not as hard to lose weight as it is hard to gain muscle. So don’t let the scales fool you.
• Your bowl life shouldn’t be a battle. Say hello to bowls that are as delicious as they are good for you.
• Behold the power of kale!
• You have to try everything, once! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• Shake it off, shake it off. Begonias are where it’s at.
• Q: What’s the hardest part of a diet? A: Sticking to it.
• Eat right. Live right. Move right. I’ve got a plan, a plan to lose weight. 🍊🍏
• You can’t have any #sugar if you want to be my sweetie pie.
• Eat brunch every day. It’s not just a verb. It’s a lifestyle. 🍳❤
• The best diet is the one YOU can stick to.
• Don’t think of it as dieting, think of it as giving your body a break.
• Your food choices may be a personal decision but your candy decisions at Halloween are a group effort 😉🍭
• Don’t just sit there, do something about that spare tire! #ItsAFatty
• Life is short, so eat the donuts.
• I don’t always eat Kale but when I do, it’s because it’s the only green vegetable in the house.
• I’m on a diet–but it’s not working.
• Gaining confidence boosts your attractiveness to the opposite sex. Because confident people are more fun to be around. 😜
• There’s no shame in admitting that you’re a bit nervous about going out to eat tonight. 😤
• Cooking is making something out of nothing and making it taste good. —James Beard
• Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from doing what’s right. -Unknown
• Do you know someone who has “diet ADD?” That person might be me. I’ll try anything once 🤷🏾♂️
• Some people have lost weight by switching their breakfast from cereal to yogurt. I’ve saved time, millions of calories, and my wife’s heart.
• You are what you eat—and I ate a lot of cake 🍰
• Rice is my favorite, rice is my lover. Rice is my best friend and mother, who gives me everything when I’m hungry 🍚 💕
• When life hands you a lemon, tell it to hold the carbs. 😜
• I’m on a diet. I saw chocolate cake, and I ate it. Now there’s one less cake.
• I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
• There is no wrong way to eat a Reese’s.
• You don’t have to belong to a gym! You just have to be committed to healthy living!
• Some days you just have to be grateful for the little things! – Thank You, Whoever is in charge of making the decision that it’s extra pesto added
• I didn’t lose weight. I let go of everything that wasn’t me.
• My perfect body is Buffy’s body…
• Don’t wait for your ship to come in… Swim out to meet it.
• Make no mistake about it, I’m on a diet. There’s just too many of you and not enough cake 🍰
• Fitness goals are the new brunch goals.
• I’m gonna “cheat clean” this week and eat a salad every day—because it’s so damn good for me.
• Chocolate chip cookie dough is basically the treat equivalent of a puppy video. ☺🍪✌️
• The best diet is the one you can stick with.
• What I love most about the gym? It’s the only place where the other people sweat as much as I do 😜
• You’re not a failure if you have tacos, cake, and wine in one day. You are succeeding at having your cake and eating it too. 🍰🎂🍼
• I just love food. And if I don’t see my boyfriend for a while, I go into withdrawal.
• Most of the diet plans in the world revolve around the same concept: Eat more than you’re supposed to and exercise more than you want to.
• I just got back from the gym and as I was putting my shoes on my neighbour asked if I was going to a yoga class.😤
• I like to stay active. That’s why I set my treadmill on “Couch to 5K.”
• Don’t ever be afraid to be your most beautiful.
• Boyfriend: What’s taking so long?
• I’m not in shape, I’m in shape up to a certain point. – Susan Powter
• Let’s be real, I’m on this diet for the Instagram photos.
• Going on a diet that @iamlouisstokes is starting tomorrow.
• Fad diets are like New Year’s Resolutions—made to be broken.
• “I’ve made a pledge to be healthier and that means I can no longer eat what I want. ? That’s just not fair. ?”
• It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change.
• If you’re determined to make because they don’t make meals small enough for your tiny stomach.
• You can’t have too many salads 😜
• I really like you, but I would never hook up with me.
• Don’t apologize for what you love.
• You got a better chance at beating the odds of winning Powerball.
• Imma put some lean on their bones.
• The key to changing your life is to stop making excuses and start taking action.
• Lent is a perfect time to take on a new challenge, like a new diet. Break free from what you’ve been doing ❄️ and try something new!
• Trending now: being really into fitness and using it as an excuse to eat more food #gainz
• I’m not in a relationship with food. I’m just temporarily embarrassed by it.
• Introducing the new Diet Coke flavor: aspartame with a twist of lemon.
• I’m so indecisive that I decided to order a salad 🥗 #YouAreWhatYouEat
• I eat a cookie, I drink a shake, You should try it, I bet you might like it.
• If bacon had lips, I would kiss him on the mouth 💋
• Oh yeah, I’m feeling the #sugarcutie vibe 💕
• I see food, I eat it, and that’s all there is to it.
• I didn’t lose my love handles, I just misplaced them.
• Hey, aren’t you that guy from the Old Spice commercials? You know. the one who’s always saying ‘You’re on a boat’
• I wake up every morning, grateful that I’m not a grapefruit.
• If you had one shot or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment would you capture it or just let it slip?
• I’m an Eskimo. I ate my liver last week. And the week before that. And the one before that too.
• So it’s official: everyone you know is on a diet.
• Losing weight is hard. Bacon is easy.
• Time to start my 2018 resolution: “Get fit, eat chips.”
• I’m on a diet that allows me to eat whatever I want as long as it’s vegan.
• I love cookies! #MotivationTip: If you love cookies and want to lose weight, make a batch of Thin Mints on a Wednesday… and then throw all the Thin Mints away.
• You can’t eat your cake and lose weight too.
• Let me guess… you’re going to work out more, eat less carbs, and be the fittest version of yourself yet?
• Life’s too short to not eat cake!
• They’re saying that people your age shouldn’t eat breakfast, but I’m like:
• Can’t wait for the day that I have to repin this so I can eat it 🍪 🍫
• I’m not a vegetarian. I just love the taste of vegetables!
• Dinner with the family. Or lunch alone. You decide. 😜
• I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
• It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. Albert Einstein.
• I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, but I’m finally awake for an hour.
• This diet plan is stupid easy…you just need to be really hungry and really broke. 😜
• Give your food game a little boost with these diet-friendly ideas that can change the way you are eating.
• Hahaha…someone told me that I’m a superhero for eating healthy food. Well, let me introduce you to my nemesis. 😂😋
• I love food 🍕😋 And I love fitting into my pants 💁🏼
• Say goodbye to dieting. Hello to living lean.
• It’s vacation season, so let’s lose weight together.
• I’m not a foodie, I’m just a bad cook 😉
• When the barista asks how you want your eggs… you reply ‘in a jar’. 😜
• I’m just here for the abs, Ok?
• A sprinkle of cinnamon, a dash of nutmeg, a slice of crusty bread: the world’s best dessert. 🍴
• Putting in work to get those gains 💪🏼
• There is no shame in muffin tops. It’s the shame of the muffin tops that should be ashamed.
• Don’t worry, you’re allowed to eat ice cream in your bikini. #dietrules
• The worst diets are the ones where you starve. So here’s to all my friends on diets this weekend! ☺
• No more dieting. No more bingeing. Done.
• don’t get it twisted, you could never “eat healthy” and be unhealthy.
• There’s never a wrong time for salad 🥗 #thisishowyoumeltdesserts
• There’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. There’s more to life than just looking good. Sometimes you have to eat kale 🥗
• Sugar: It’s as sweet as it is devilish 💩 ✔ #eatclean #paleo
• Anyone who says you can’t get great abs from eating donuts is an idiot.
• I’m sorry but I don’t negotiate with food.
• You don’t need to see the full menu to know what you want at a buffet. 👅
• I’m on a mission to find and destroy every bit of evidence that I ever ate caramel. Caramel is one of my biggest weaknesses.
• If you don’t see me for a while, you know why.
• There is always a moment when you know. A moment when you feel it all, and in that moment, it’s clear.
• Good news: There’s a new diet that requires you to eat all the things. Bad news: My mom has started it. #fall
• This is, like, 100% not healthy and even worse for you than a Snickers bar. But, uh, it’s free.
• NYC’s number one healthy eating destination 😉
• “I saw food, and I ate it.” – Homer Simpson
• I’m on a diet. I’m eating salad and drinking wine. Forgive me…
• Let’s be clear: Eggs are not chicken. Chicken is chicken. Get over it and make this salad already!!
• I like my men like I like my coffee ❤️☕️
• I’m going to take these extra calories I found under my bed and burn them off with a jog around my house.
• In the gym: Time to get swoll. At the dinner table: Time to get swole.
• I’ve got dimples and all I eat is dirt.
• My routine before any event:1. Cry
• 🤪 Don’t tell anybody but I’m on a diet.
• “I’m on a diet that lets me eat anything I want, as long as it’s not on my diet.” – Unknown.
• Nothing tastes as good as slim feels, except for these #healthy desserts that are #lowcal and #lowfat.
• Don’t fall for the lie that you can eat #healthy and get ~fit~ at the same time. Get fit, then eat healthy.
• The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. #FitMom #Fitness #NoRegrets
• I’m so hot, I burn calories 🔥
• Because being healthy isn’t always easy, but pizza is. 🍕
• How could pizza be a diet food? Because it’s the thin crust!
• It’s not that you have to eat healthy. It’s just that if you don’t, guilt will creep up on you, and eat the rest of your slice of pizza 🍕
• Sitting on my butt all day at work has made my buns 🍑 🍑 🍑 . . . . . .like, whoa.
• Eat the things you like! Just eat less of them.
• My, my. What big breakfast bowls do you have…
• Declutter your life by eating less.
• Many people are afraid of heights…not me, I’m afraid of widths. 😒
• To achieve the results you want, you have to do the things you don’t want to do.🍚