Funny Confusing Quotes That Make You Think

Quotes are the best inspirational way to boost your confidence. Funny quotes also make an awesome impact if you want to get a bit of a laugh. In this post, you would find a list of funny confusing quotes that make you think and some inspirational quotes as well.

Funny Confusing Quotes That Make You Think

• Sarcastic, witty, and sometimes awkward, you can’t take @merediths_garden seriously.

• Smart people say confusing things. It’s a fact.

You know what they say: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

• What did the CEO say when he fell into a bucket? “It’s a booty call.” 🎈

• You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

• Don’t bite my head off, I’m just trying to read.

• The best kind of physical activity is jumping to conclusions, don’t you think?

• I’m not a real doctor, sorry. -Doctor

• This weather is so nice. You’d think it was the apocalypse.

• I was thinking about holding my breath until I turned blue, but I was afraid you’d think I was dead.

• Doing things right is often misunderstood.

• Confucius says: if you want to succeed, you must first dress for success.

• What is love? Baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me, no more. #sadlynotkiddingme

• How can she be so beautiful… I’m on her Instagram and it just gets worse!

• I have the internet, so I have access to thousands of pillows at any time.

• Can I buy you a coffee, Mr. Peabody?

• Let’s leave the past in the past. But let’s also not forget it completely. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• Who says you can’t be on both sides of the grass?

• What do you mean I’m not allowed to sing in the shower? Can someone explain this to me? #confused

• Easy come, easy go — but not for me. I’m stuck with this T-shirt forever.

• Sometimes, you just have to dump your whole wallet on the floor to find that one card that you can’t live without.

• Do not count the days, make the days count.

• I don’t want to be the first one to post this quote but I’m not sure who said it (no one knows) please help #prayforhumanity

• What I love about you most is…that I don’t love you at all.

• Are you an expert in everything? If so, get in touch before I have a nervous breakdown!

• I’m starting to think that fidget spinners are just as bad as Tom Cruise.

• If you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life.

• I’ve gone completely off the deep end. And I have no regrets.

• How does a dog know if it’s raining? He smells it on your shoes.

• Alright, who moved my cheese? 🧀

• Where does a hot dog wear a belt? 👖🍔

• What’s the difference between Halloween and Christmas? On Halloween, you wear a costume 🎃 🎄

• So what if I’m a little past spring. I’m still going to sit in this rocker and look at the pretty flowers.

• Confusing quotes that make you think:

• What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

• Are you a blackbird, or a white bird? You’ve got to tweet this out to figure it out.

• I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

• Maybe the moon is a new kind of cheese 🤔

• I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals—I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.

• Listen, I’m trying to be a good person. I really am. But you’re going to have to speak up if you expect me to hear you 😉

• This is the definition of confusing 😯

• No matter how many times you knock on death’s door, it won’t open. So stop knocking.

• The future is literally in my hand. Imagine what I can do with it #imagination

• Now I get it. I had no idea that was how those things work! How does that work??

• Those who think they have no time for exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.

• I don’t care how you feel if you’re single, I’m never getting married.

• When life throws you lemons, ask for some tequila instead.

• I’ll tell you the secret to my fitness… I have no secrets! Shhh. ????

• I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

• We all fall down. The trick is to get back up again.

• I’ll be honest… I have no idea what’s happening here

• What happens in Vegas, stays on Instagram.

• I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants. – A. Whitney Brown

• Life is full of choices. Coffee or tea? Walk or ride? Watch TV or read a book?

• The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

• I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

• I’m sorry, did you want to use all these crayons or just the brown ones from the middle.

• What’s the difference between climate and weather?

• What’s more perplexing…this quote, or the fact that you’re actually scrolling through an Instagram caption for a recipe of avocado toast? 😂😎

• Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can’t decide what to call them.☀️🍁

• How do you manage your time? I manage my time by the hour, and I get 50 cents a day for it.

• I’m not a magician. I just play one on TV #ItsNotMagic

• I have moments of extreme clarity that are so intense I can’t function. Just kidding!

• What’s more amazing than a rainbow? A RAINBOW OF CANDY! 😲 🍭

• I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

• Remember, if you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself. 🐕

• The secret to happiness is to be a good bystander.

• Never said, never written. Always speak clearly and be heard loud and clear—even if things aren’t always what they seem.

• What are you talking about? Exactly.

• Not all those who wander are lost. (Tolkien)

• If you are struck by more than one lightning bolt in the same day, count yourself lucky 🌩 #MurphyStrikesTwice

• What am I wearing? Who am I? What day is it?

• Did that just happen? Did the couch just mug me? Mrs. Beasley must’ve slipped some acid in my breakfast again.

• I was heartbroken when my cable package didn’t come with a box to put the remote control in…

• Did you know that time is called a dimension? That means it’s the fourth dimension, after length, width, and height. Time flies even when you’re having fun.

• What part of “I’m fine” does she not understand?

• A: What did the ocean say to the beach?

• Is it really that difficult to butter bread?

• What if I told you… you don’t have to be weird to work here, but it helps?

• When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.

• What? I just wanted to show how funny and confusing stuff is.

• Too much of a good thing can be, well, a whole lot of anything. So go easy on the cheesecake and sit back and enjoy your fun-sized portion.

• Confucius says: The early bird gets Skynet, but the second mouse gets the Scroogled.

• I’m not a morning person unless I’m *real* hungover.

• I don’t always make resolutions. But when I do, they’re usually to eat more chocolate 😝

• We’re not sure what to make of that statement.

• Confucius says: “If you’re a good egg, then I’m an Emmy award-winning host.”

• Confucius says, “Men with long hair are better than men with short hair.” This one’s for you, Dad. 💇

• If you don’t know what’s going on, then it’s probably not your fault. 😉

• If you think my quotes are confusing… just wait till you try to read my handwriting. 😂🤣

• What part of “SATIRE” do you not understand? 🤔

• It’s Friday. The weekend is less than 24 hours away. And you’re still here? I’m sorry…I don’t understand the question.

• Welcome to my mind. It’s a little weird in here. 😓

• What is the meaning of “Netflix and chill”?

• Do you have any raisins? I’m making cookies and need some dough. 😀

• Cats and dogs living together. Mass hysteria.

• If you think snowmen are silent, it couldn’t have been a good idea to give them mouths.

• Make it a weekend. Stay in the moment.

• What part of the ‘right to bear arms do you not understand? #peachesandscream

• I believe I can say, with some authority that beets are the most underrated vegetable in the history of vegetables.

• I’m not sure if string is the best material for indoor gardening-but who am I to judge?

• That awkward moment when you realize you kind of has a crush on yourself. 😊

• If you love the feeling of confusion, try wearing this shirt backward. You’ll look like a genius. 😂

• If you think this post is confusing, then you’ve never met me.

• Is it too early for a cold one? #notsureifsarcasm

• What happens to a dog’s Instagram when it passes away? I’m a little unsure about this.

• I’m pretty sure all my new haircuts want to be wigs.

• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? 🤔

• Why did the chicken cross the road?

• Are you a little bit country? Or are you a little bit rock ‘n’ roll? …or both?

• How many days until the weekend?

• I’m confused by the fact that the plural of tooth is teeth. 😆

• They say laughter is the best medicine. I need to get my prescription refilled.

• I heard the only way to eat Nutella is with a spoon. I can confirm this is true.☺️

• There’s someone in my left ear telling me to go to bed and there’s someone in my right ear telling me to stay up and do things.

• There is no ‘i’ in team. There is a ‘me.’ #mondaymotivation

• The difference between a car and a boat is how you feel if you have to walk home.

• If I had a nickel for every time I said no to pizza, I would have…five nickels. 😜

• I’m not a weatherman, but I can forecast your day. It’s going to be very hot in here.

• I’m 99% sure you misheard me.

• One day, we’re going to look back on this and laugh…But until then, I’ll make do with a confused facial expression. 😬

• I’m not late. I’m just fashionably early.

• Reading the news, I see that my birth certificate is an elaborate forgery.

• I don’t mind going to the dentist, as long as they don’t take me too seriously.

• I did the math and figured out that I spend $17 a day on coffee, but then I remembered that I don’t have a job.

• What am I doing with my life?

• If you love me, prove it by scratching my nose.

• We asked 100 guys: “What’s your type?” They said: “I have to have it all.”

• Confusion. It’s when your brain goes through the wash cycle.

• The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

• I’m just going for a walk. And maybe forever…

• I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

• Well, back to the drawing board 🎨

• What’s the difference between an apple and an orange? : APPLE: Falls slowly, but hits the ground with a BANG!

• There is nothing better than a boyfriend and girlfriend who have so much in common that they can finish each other’s sandwiches.

• Who’s got two thumbs and enjoys eating breakfast in bed? This guy. 🥞

• Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any cuter…

• That awkward moment when… you accidentally walk into the same frame pic.twitter.com/Y1akdgHtHI

• You’re never too young to get old, but you’re also never too old to get younger.

• Why did the chicken cross the road? It went back to the school of course! 🐓

• Don’t be a wuss, give into your cravings #NationalDonutDay

• They always say go big or go home, but we’re thinking they should have mentioned going small.

• If you have a library card, you have problems. #fact

• Don’t think. Feel the music. Feel the rhythm. Let the melody carry you away.

• You made me a better person… just by being you. That’s all.

• I see you’re admiring my new profile pic

• You can’t call a person crazy if you’re out of your mind, too. – Tim Curry 🍂

• Oh, snap! Did you just see that?!

• What kind of monster needs a reason to celebrate? Let’s get festive-monkey! 🎃

• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth -Mark Twain

• What’s the sound of one hand clapping? #DontThinkJustRead

• Things are about to get interesting.

• What’s more terrifying: a giant spider or the fact that there are actually people who think this quote is funny? 😱

• Is it hot in here? Or is it just me with my new Adonis body spray ⛱ 😂😜

• I’m not a morning person, but I can fake it 💁👌

• The best part about being lost is that you end up someplace new. 🌎

• It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

• Sometimes when I have a really good day, and nothing bad happens, I feel like something really terrible is about to happen.

• Sometimes, it’s only when we’re lost that we’re found. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• I don’t understand what you just said, but I totally agree with you.

• I’m not late, I’m just early. Early is on time. On-time is late.

• I know it looks like I’m going to camp, but this is actually a woman’s suit.

• When she said “You’re sexy” I was like “Thx but it’s just my name.”

• Don’t worry if your plans fail. If your best friend drives off a cliff and dies, don’t worry.

• Where there’s a will, I wanna be in it 👻🎃

• What if a gnu bought a plane ticket?

• Did you seriously just see [insert common saying here]? Ok well, welcome to our world. 👽

• When I was a kid, I used to pray for a bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

• Thinking too much, but not saying much…

• It’s the start of a new #weekend and I’m not sure what day it is 😵

• What is “the new black”? __ The new green?__ The new white?!

• me when I got my degree in life

• If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

• Confucius says: always read the last page first, to get a second ending.

• What part of this do you not understand?

• I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy asking him to Netflix & Chill.

• A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.#funniestcaptionsforInstagram

• Do you know what my favorite food group is? Naps. #confused?

• It’s not weird if you keep repeating yourself… it’s a loop. 😂😫

• If a video game told you it would be easy, would you believe them? 😜

• Sometimes you feel like a nut… sometimes you don’t. 😄❤️

• Do you like to think about deep stuff? Use this for your caption.

• Things can be so confusing in life. But at least my coffee maker isn’t.

• I’m so important that my ideas have to be explained to me.

• Feeling confused? Confucius say, “If you have to sit for hours on a plane, it helps if you’re dressed for a funeral.” 🚁

• You can’t make yourself fall in love by staring at a phone… Maybe you should just go outside?

• Is there a reason you’re looking at me like that? 😰

• If you love something, set it free… and see if it comes back to you 🤔😑😂

• Confused about what to do? Just do this. ✔

• We’ve all been there. One minute you’re relaxing, the next you’re in a food coma. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #relaxationproblems

• Cats: You’ve never seen a cat display an emotion that wasn’t there.

• Did you know there’s a thing called the Statue of Liberty? Yeah. We didn’t either.

• In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

• Is it a cup or is it a spoon? The answer is…It’s both. #justspoonit

• If today was a fish I would throw a hook in it.

• What does this even mean? 🤔😴

• I’ll have what she’s having.

• Are you a croissant or a danish?

• I’m not saying I’m Batman, but I’ve definitely had more than one night where I’ve taken off my belt and tried to fly.

• You know you’re dating a 🌎 when, even when it’s raining, you can take a glimpse out the window and be happy.

• If you are what you eat, then I’m cheap, fast, and easy.

• I don’t get this photo, but it’s pretty funny ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• Didn’t see that coming, did you? 😎

• Wanna see something cool?

• When I saw you, I thought “What a Beautiful Dawn”. But then I saw the rest of you and realized it was Night.

• If you were a pizza, you would be Supreme.

• I hope you’re as confused as I am

• Wondering if this dress makes me look fat, or is it my imagination? 🙄

• You’re not lost, you’re just in the wrong aisle

• What is this week about?

• Dessert for breakfast: the most important meal of the day.

• I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

• You’re not weird. You are unique. Just like everyone else.

• “When I was in high school I used to number my crushes like I’m a college football team.”

• How is this news? We don’t even like each other.

• I woke up like this, no I did not. I woke up and worked hard for it.

• Bye Felicia. I’m about to delete you if you don’t start making sense. 😐

• What, I’m Not Confusing Enough For You? ☺

• We’ve been doing it wrong this whole time.

• If you’re confused, you’re doing it right.

• When the going gets tough, the tough get confused.

• What is wrong with this picture?

• Is it cold outside? Or are you just…cold?

• At the store, I can’t tell what’s in season anymore—you’d think they would label the tomatoes.

• Is it just me or does this word look funny?👇

• What’s the difference between a word and an abbreviation?

• I have plenty of personalities. It’s just hard to keep it together. #nailedit

• If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s a tiger. Then don’t. Or a bear. Okay, just stay away from all animals.

• I followed you on insta to see if you’d like my photo, but I think the video may be better. *tries to figure out what the hell is going on*

• Remember the first time you got a haircut? Yeah, we don’t either.

• Why is it called a burrito when you have to wrap it up?

• Walking into a room and forgetting why I walked in.

• If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.

• If you can’t explain it to a six-year old, you don’t understand it yourself.

• You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as lost as you did at the beginning. —Paul Auster

• How does a fish sleep underwater?

• I’m always busy because I don’t know how to work slowly.

• Pack your bags and get ready for a tropical trip—without the plane ticket or the passport. 😎

• I’m a gangster. Zorro. A gremlin. Green Goblin. The master of the mixed metaphor and the mixed drink.

• I’m so special, I have my own Facebook fan page.

• Being yourself is the key to success. Unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman.

• What did the grape say when she got stepped on? Nothing eh—just kidding, it’s not a grape 🍇

• Sometimes you have to be a little bit silly. Now, what were we talking about? 😎

• “I’m actually in my pajamas, but I came over here to tell you that I’m dressed.” – Unknown

• What’s sillier than yesterday, better than today and tomorrow? The day before yesterday.

• Why do they call it the ‘head’ of lettuce? It doesn’t have ahead! 🤔

• Hey, do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?

• Do I really have to spell it out for you?

• It all makes sense now – I finally get it.

• Are we really going to eat that? Or will it eat us?

• Fashion doesn’t always have to make sense.

• Like, what’s that thing above the sky?

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