Funny Confusing Quotes That Make You Think

Funny Confusing Quotes That Make You Think

Quotes are the best inspirational way to boost your confidence. Funny quotes also make an awesome impact if you want to get a bit of a laugh. In this post, you would find a list of funny confusing quotes that make you think and some inspirational quotes as well.

Funny Confusing Quotes That Make You Think

• Sarcastic, witty, and sometimes awkward, you can’t take @merediths_garden seriously.

• Smart people say confusing things. It’s a fact.

You know what they say: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

• What did the CEO say when he fell into a bucket? “It’s a booty call.” 🎈

• You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

• Don’t bite my head off, I’m just trying to read.

• The best kind of physical activity is jumping to conclusions, don’t you think?

• I’m not a real doctor, sorry. -Doctor

• This weather is so nice. You’d think it was the apocalypse.

• I was thinking about holding my breath until I turned blue, but I was afraid you’d think I was dead.

• Doing things right is often misunderstood.

• Confucius says: if you want to succeed, you must first dress for success.

• What is love? Baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me, no more. #sadlynotkiddingme

• How can she be so beautiful… I’m on her Instagram and it just gets worse!

• I have the internet, so I have access to thousands of pillows at any time.

• Can I buy you a coffee, Mr. Peabody?

• Let’s leave the past in the past. But let’s also not forget it completely. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• Who says you can’t be on both sides of the grass?

• What do you mean I’m not allowed to sing in the shower? Can someone explain this to me? #confused

• Easy come, easy go — but not for me. I’m stuck with this T-shirt forever.

• Sometimes, you just have to dump your whole wallet on the floor to find that one card that you can’t live without.

• Do not count the days, make the days count.

• I don’t want to be the first one to post this quote but I’m not sure who said it (no one knows) please help #prayforhumanity

• What I love about you most is…that I don’t love you at all.

• Are you an expert in everything? If so, get in touch before I have a nervous breakdown!

• I’m starting to think that fidget spinners are just as bad as Tom Cruise.

• If you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life.

• I’ve gone completely off the deep end. And I have no regrets.

• How does a dog know if it’s raining? He smells it on your shoes.

• Alright, who moved my cheese? 🧀

• Where does a hot dog wear a belt? 👖🍔

• What’s the difference between Halloween and Christmas? On Halloween, you wear a costume 🎃 🎄

• So what if I’m a little past spring. I’m still going to sit in this rocker and look at the pretty flowers.

• Confusing quotes that make you think:

• What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

• Are you a blackbird, or a white bird? You’ve got to tweet this out to figure it out.

• I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

• Maybe the moon is a new kind of cheese 🤔

• I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals—I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.

• Listen, I’m trying to be a good person. I really am. But you’re going to have to speak up if you expect me to hear you 😉

• This is the definition of confusing 😯

• No matter how many times you knock on death’s door, it won’t open. So stop knocking.

• The future is literally in my hand. Imagine what I can do with it #imagination

• Now I get it. I had no idea that was how those things work! How does that work??

• Those who think they have no time for exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.

• I don’t care how you feel if you’re single, I’m never getting married.

• When life throws you lemons, ask for some tequila instead.

• I’ll tell you the secret to my fitness… I have no secrets! Shhh. ????

• I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

• We all fall down. The trick is to get back up again.

• I’ll be honest… I have no idea what’s happening here

• What happens in Vegas, stays on Instagram.

• I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants. – A. Whitney Brown

• Life is full of choices. Coffee or tea? Walk or ride? Watch TV or read a book?

• The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

• I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

• I’m sorry, did you want to use all these crayons or just the brown ones from the middle.

• What’s the difference between climate and weather?

• What’s more perplexing…this quote, or the fact that you’re actually scrolling through an Instagram caption for a recipe of avocado toast? 😂😎

• Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can’t decide what to call them.☀️🍁

• How do you manage your time? I manage my time by the hour, and I get 50 cents a day for it.

• I’m not a magician. I just play one on TV #ItsNotMagic

• I have moments of extreme clarity that are so intense I can’t function. Just kidding!

• What’s more amazing than a rainbow? A RAINBOW OF CANDY! 😲 🍭

• I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

• Remember, if you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself. 🐕

• The secret to happiness is to be a good bystander.

• Never said, never written. Always speak clearly and be heard loud and clear—even if things aren’t always what they seem.

• What are you talking about? Exactly.

• Not all those who wander are lost. (Tolkien)

• If you are struck by more than one lightning bolt in the same day, count yourself lucky 🌩 #MurphyStrikesTwice

• What am I wearing? Who am I? What day is it?

• Did that just happen? Did the couch just mug me? Mrs. Beasley must’ve slipped some acid in my breakfast again.

• I was heartbroken when my cable package didn’t come with a box to put the remote control in…

• Did you know that time is called a dimension? That means it’s the fourth dimension, after length, width, and height. Time flies even when you’re having fun.

• What part of “I’m fine” does she not understand?

• A: What did the ocean say to the beach?

• Is it really that difficult to butter bread?

• What if I told you… you don’t have to be weird to work here, but it helps?

• When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.

• What? I just wanted to show how funny and confusing stuff is.

• Too much of a good thing can be, well, a whole lot of anything. So go easy on the cheesecake and sit back and enjoy your fun-sized portion.

• Confucius says: The early bird gets Skynet, but the second mouse gets the Scroogled.

• I’m not a morning person unless I’m *real* hungover.

• I don’t always make resolutions. But when I do, they’re usually to eat more chocolate 😝

• We’re not sure what to make of that statement.

• Confucius says: “If you’re a good egg, then I’m an Emmy award-winning host.”

• Confucius says, “Men with long hair are better than men with short hair.” This one’s for you, Dad. 💇

• If you don’t know what’s going on, then it’s probably not your fault. 😉

• If you think my quotes are confusing… just wait till you try to read my handwriting. 😂🤣

• What part of “SATIRE” do you not understand? 🤔

• It’s Friday. The weekend is less than 24 hours away. And you’re still here? I’m sorry…I don’t understand the question.

• Welcome to my mind. It’s a little weird in here. 😓

• What is the meaning of “Netflix and chill”?

• Do you have any raisins? I’m making cookies and need some dough. 😀

• Cats and dogs living together. Mass hysteria.

• If you think snowmen are silent, it couldn’t have been a good idea to give them mouths.

• Make it a weekend. Stay in the moment.

• What part of the ‘right to bear arms do you not understand? #peachesandscream

• I believe I can say, with some authority that beets are the most underrated vegetable in the history of vegetables.

• I’m not sure if string is the best material for indoor gardening-but who am I to judge?

• That awkward moment when you realize you kind of has a crush on yourself. 😊

• If you love the feeling of confusion, try wearing this shirt backward. You’ll look like a genius. 😂

• If you think this post is confusing, then you’ve never met me.

• Is it too early for a cold one? #notsureifsarcasm

• What happens to a dog’s Instagram when it passes away? I’m a little unsure about this.

• I’m pretty sure all my new haircuts want to be wigs.

• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? 🤔

• Why did the chicken cross the road?

• Are you a little bit country? Or are you a little bit rock ‘n’ roll? …or both?

• How many days until the weekend?

• I’m confused by the fact that the plural of tooth is teeth. 😆

• They say laughter is the best medicine. I need to get my prescription refilled.

• I heard the only way to eat Nutella is with a spoon. I can confirm this is true.☺️

• There’s someone in my left ear telling me to go to bed and there’s someone in my right ear telling me to stay up and do things.

• There is no ‘i’ in team. There is a ‘me.’ #mondaymotivation

• The difference between a car and a boat is how you feel if you have to walk home.

• If I had a nickel for every time I said no to pizza, I would have…five nickels. 😜

• I’m not a weatherman, but I can forecast your day. It’s going to be very hot in here.

• I’m 99% sure you misheard me.

• One day, we’re going to look back on this and laugh…But until then, I’ll make do with a confused facial expression. 😬

• I’m not late. I’m just fashionably early.

• Reading the news, I see that my birth certificate is an elaborate forgery.

• I don’t mind going to the dentist, as long as they don’t take me too seriously.

• I did the math and figured out that I spend $17 a day on coffee, but then I remembered that I don’t have a job.

• What am I doing with my life?

• If you love me, prove it by scratching my nose.

• We asked 100 guys: “What’s your type?” They said: “I have to have it all.”

• Confusion. It’s when your brain goes through the wash cycle.

• The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

• I’m just going for a walk. And maybe forever…

• I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

• Well, back to the drawing board 🎨

• What’s the difference between an apple and an orange? : APPLE: Falls slowly, but hits the ground with a BANG!

• There is nothing better than a boyfriend and girlfriend who have so much in common that they can finish each other’s sandwiches.

• Who’s got two thumbs and enjoys eating breakfast in bed? This guy. 🥞

• Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any cuter…

• That awkward moment when… you accidentally walk into the same frame pic.twitter.com/Y1akdgHtHI

• You’re never too young to get old, but you’re also never too old to get younger.

• Why did the chicken cross the road? It went back to the school of course! 🐓

• Don’t be a wuss, give into your cravings #NationalDonutDay

• They always say go big or go home, but we’re thinking they should have mentioned going small.

• If you have a library card, you have problems. #fact

• Don’t think. Feel the music. Feel the rhythm. Let the melody carry you away.

• You made me a better person… just by being you. That’s all.

• I see you’re admiring my new profile pic

• You can’t call a person crazy if you’re out of your mind, too. – Tim Curry 🍂

• Oh, snap! Did you just see that?!

• What kind of monster needs a reason to celebrate? Let’s get festive-monkey! 🎃

• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth -Mark Twain

• What’s the sound of one hand clapping? #DontThinkJustRead

• Things are about to get interesting.

• What’s more terrifying: a giant spider or the fact that there are actually people who think this quote is funny? 😱

• Is it hot in here? Or is it just me with my new Adonis body spray ⛱ 😂😜

• I’m not a morning person, but I can fake it 💁👌

• The best part about being lost is that you end up someplace new. 🌎

• It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

• Sometimes when I have a really good day, and nothing bad happens, I feel like something really terrible is about to happen.

• Sometimes, it’s only when we’re lost that we’re found. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• I don’t understand what you just said, but I totally agree with you.

• I’m not late, I’m just early. Early is on time. On-time is late.

• I know it looks like I’m going to camp, but this is actually a woman’s suit.

• When she said “You’re sexy” I was like “Thx but it’s just my name.”

• Don’t worry if your plans fail. If your best friend drives off a cliff and dies, don’t worry.

• Where there’s a will, I wanna be in it 👻🎃

• What if a gnu bought a plane ticket?

• Did you seriously just see [insert common saying here]? Ok well, welcome to our world. 👽

• When I was a kid, I used to pray for a bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

• Thinking too much, but not saying much…

• It’s the start of a new #weekend and I’m not sure what day it is 😵

• What is “the new black”? __ The new green?__ The new white?!

• me when I got my degree in life

• If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

• Confucius says: always read the last page first, to get a second ending.

• What part of this do you not understand?

• I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy asking him to Netflix & Chill.

• A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.#funniestcaptionsforInstagram

• Do you know what my favorite food group is? Naps. #confused?

• It’s not weird if you keep repeating yourself… it’s a loop. 😂😫

• If a video game told you it would be easy, would you believe them? 😜

• Sometimes you feel like a nut… sometimes you don’t. 😄❤️

• Do you like to think about deep stuff? Use this for your caption.

• Things can be so confusing in life. But at least my coffee maker isn’t.

• I’m so important that my ideas have to be explained to me.

• Feeling confused? Confucius say, “If you have to sit for hours on a plane, it helps if you’re dressed for a funeral.” 🚁

• You can’t make yourself fall in love by staring at a phone… Maybe you should just go outside?

• Is there a reason you’re looking at me like that? 😰

• If you love something, set it free… and see if it comes back to you 🤔😑😂

• Confused about what to do? Just do this. ✔

• We’ve all been there. One minute you’re relaxing, the next you’re in a food coma. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #relaxationproblems

• Cats: You’ve never seen a cat display an emotion that wasn’t there.

• Did you know there’s a thing called the Statue of Liberty? Yeah. We didn’t either.

• In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

• Is it a cup or is it a spoon? The answer is…It’s both. #justspoonit

• If today was a fish I would throw a hook in it.

• What does this even mean? 🤔😴

• I’ll have what she’s having.

• Are you a croissant or a danish?

• I’m not saying I’m Batman, but I’ve definitely had more than one night where I’ve taken off my belt and tried to fly.

• You know you’re dating a 🌎 when, even when it’s raining, you can take a glimpse out the window and be happy.

• If you are what you eat, then I’m cheap, fast, and easy.

• I don’t get this photo, but it’s pretty funny ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• Didn’t see that coming, did you? 😎

• Wanna see something cool?

• When I saw you, I thought “What a Beautiful Dawn”. But then I saw the rest of you and realized it was Night.

• If you were a pizza, you would be Supreme.

• I hope you’re as confused as I am

• Wondering if this dress makes me look fat, or is it my imagination? 🙄

• You’re not lost, you’re just in the wrong aisle

• What is this week about?

• Dessert for breakfast: the most important meal of the day.

• I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

• You’re not weird. You are unique. Just like everyone else.

• “When I was in high school I used to number my crushes like I’m a college football team.”

• How is this news? We don’t even like each other.

• I woke up like this, no I did not. I woke up and worked hard for it.

• Bye Felicia. I’m about to delete you if you don’t start making sense. 😐

• What, I’m Not Confusing Enough For You? ☺

• We’ve been doing it wrong this whole time.

• If you’re confused, you’re doing it right.

• When the going gets tough, the tough get confused.

• What is wrong with this picture?

• Is it cold outside? Or are you just…cold?

• At the store, I can’t tell what’s in season anymore—you’d think they would label the tomatoes.

• Is it just me or does this word look funny?👇

• What’s the difference between a word and an abbreviation?

• I have plenty of personalities. It’s just hard to keep it together. #nailedit

• If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s a tiger. Then don’t. Or a bear. Okay, just stay away from all animals.

• I followed you on insta to see if you’d like my photo, but I think the video may be better. *tries to figure out what the hell is going on*

• Remember the first time you got a haircut? Yeah, we don’t either.

• Why is it called a burrito when you have to wrap it up?

• Walking into a room and forgetting why I walked in.

• If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.

• If you can’t explain it to a six-year old, you don’t understand it yourself.

• You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as lost as you did at the beginning. —Paul Auster

• How does a fish sleep underwater?

• I’m always busy because I don’t know how to work slowly.

• Pack your bags and get ready for a tropical trip—without the plane ticket or the passport. 😎

• I’m a gangster. Zorro. A gremlin. Green Goblin. The master of the mixed metaphor and the mixed drink.

• I’m so special, I have my own Facebook fan page.

• Being yourself is the key to success. Unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman.

• What did the grape say when she got stepped on? Nothing eh—just kidding, it’s not a grape 🍇

• Sometimes you have to be a little bit silly. Now, what were we talking about? 😎

• “I’m actually in my pajamas, but I came over here to tell you that I’m dressed.” – Unknown

• What’s sillier than yesterday, better than today and tomorrow? The day before yesterday.

• Why do they call it the ‘head’ of lettuce? It doesn’t have ahead! 🤔

• Hey, do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?

• Do I really have to spell it out for you?

• It all makes sense now – I finally get it.

• Are we really going to eat that? Or will it eat us?

• Fashion doesn’t always have to make sense.

• Like, what’s that thing above the sky?

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