Babysitting is one of the careers you can consider having as a teenager. If you are going to be taking care of kids, you will learn basic skills in childcare such as safety, nutrition, and disciplinary care for children.
If you’ve ever spent any time with kids you’ve probably noticed how they can make the funniest jokes and puns. Well, they are always good for a laugh, but it’s probably not appropriate to keep laughing every time they say something funny. By the way, if you’d like to read some funny babysitting pickup lines and anecdotes, go ahead. You’ll enjoy them. I promise!
Funny Babysitting Pick Up Lines
• The key to babysitting is multitasking. Remember to keep your phone handy to record any funny things that happen that you can post on Snapchat.
• I think it’s time we invest in a babysitter. What do you think?
• You can’t be a good babysitter if you don’t know how to entertain a baby.
• So you need a babysitter but you’re not sure how to describe the perfect candidate? Here’s a great example:
• I’m clearly not babysitting, but there’s a lot of parts to being a kid.
• If you could only have one animal as a pet, what would it be? #babysitting
• I’m babysitting for the weekend. I hope you enjoy watching me eat all of your food.
• If you’re not a mom yet, be one. We’ve got all the advice you need to make it happen.
• Babysitting is hard, especially when the only thing you love more than your little prince or princess is coffee
• I’m the type of mom that is always on time and never late.
• They’re not supposed to get into the cookie jar, but they do it anyway
• Here are some tips from a professional babysitter.
• Are you looking for a babysitter? We can handle it.
• I’m the babysitter. You are the kids. Who’s in charge?
• Never forget to hand them a phone if you’re babysitting.
• Babysitting is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
• Babies are so cute when they’re small but imagine babysitting them when they look like this.
• Tell them to stop sucking their thumbs, that means it’s time for a visit from the babysitter
• Babysitting is the best job in the world. It is flexible, fun, bohemian and you get to meet lots of people.
• Babysitting is a job that pays well, but it doesn’t come with health benefits
• Taking care of your kids is the best part of being a mom. That’s why I’m here!
• You can’t let them watch TV every night. They’ll turn into couch potatoes.
• Bored? Here’s some stuff to do: Make up story. Go outside and play. Pick a LEGO® block off the lawn. Put it back.
• Babysitting may be hard, but it’s not that hard.
• When you babysit, you’re in charge. Period.
• I’m not sure if my babysitting skills are off or you’re just that funny
• When your babysitter gives you a wedgie and makes you feel like a child again
• Babysitting is the best job in the world – because you get to hang out with them all day long!
• Do you know how to make a baby smile? Make him feel special and buy his favorite toy.
• We don’t think you need the sitter. You can handle it on your own.
• Nothing like waking up to a baby who is ready for the day, but still loves a good night sleep.
• You know you’ve found your calling when the kids throw a tantrum and your favorite show comes on.
• If you want to talk about anything, just wait 30 seconds, and I will be sure to bore your kids with stories of my childhood.
• I’ve had enough of your whining and your crying. Make sure you brush your teeth again before you come back to me!
• You’re gonna have so much fun watching this babysitter.
• Babysitting is a good way to learn how to navigate the world.
• If you can’t babysit your own kids, who can you babysit?
• Babysitting is hard work and we all know it.
• Make sure you tell your babysitter to do their job before teaching them how to do it.
• Good luck staying awake while I watch your kids.
• If you can’t be a good mom, be a great fake one.
• I was going to be a veterinarian, but I got distracted by the babysitting.
• We’re all about the little ones, but when they’re cranky, what can you do?
• Babysitting is hard, but bear-y good fun.
• Babysitting is a job. Babysitting is not a playdate.
• When the parents go to work but you babysit the kids. #goodtimes
• Don’t leave your babysitter alone with the babies – because it’s gonna be a whole lot of fun!
• If you want to be the friend everyone asks for help with, this is the babysitting class for you.
• Forget about the baby wipes. I have the perfect diaper for you!
• Babysitting is a lot like high school. Kids are loud, messy and unpredictable.
• When you’re watching your little one play and the toy accidentally flies across the room.
• Call me crazy, but I think these kids are smokin’ hot.
• Don’t worry about the little things! They’re just tiny details that make a big difference.
• Babysitting is not just babysitting. It’s babysitting for grown ups too!
• The key to a good babysitting job? Being able to multitask like a pro.
• Baby’s first babysitting gig: googly eyes, and a whole lot of giggles.
• My name is Stacey and I’m the babysitter. Here are some sarcasm quotes that you might get from me
• Babysitting is like an art, you have to know how to do it right.
• Babysitting is a great way to make friends and learn about the world around you.
• A babysitting job is the best way to spend time with your kids, especially when they don’t seem to notice you’ve had them overnight.
• BABY got back. Babysitting 101: Never leave them alone with the TV on, especially if it’s an infomercial.
• When you’re a good babysitter, your kids get all the attention. When you’re a bad babysitter, they ask for you.
• Watching my baby fall asleep and dreaming of all the things I could do with that free time.
• Babysitting is serious business, especially if you’re a dog.
• Our babysitters are as funny, if not more so, than we are.
• The kid who babysits the kids who watch TV while the parent watches TV while they do laundry.
• I can’t believe I get to babysit again. #BabysitterProblems
• It’s babysitting time, and there’s no one better equipped to teach your little one how to ride a bicycle than you.
• Not all babysitters are as cute as I am, but I’ll take that trade off.
• Breaking in a babysitter is kind of like breaking into an old abandoned house.
• If Mommy and Daddy are busy, you’re the boss. Be a good babysitter, or they’ll be real mad at you!
• It’s funny how some kids are so grown up, they act like it’s their birthday all the time.
• When you catch your 3-year-old bringing home a slightly used pacifier from the park.
• The only thing that can make you a better dad is spending time with your kids.
• What’s the best way to get your kids to listen? Wait, I think I got it. Tell them they can’t watch cartoons
• Life Lessons: 1. Don’t feed your babysitter after midnight 2. Make sure the door is locked 3. No stealing
• Don’t let your babysitter fool you. Babysitters are not just for children. They can be used to comfort your loved ones when they are sick, scared, or just need a break.
• Bring some peace and light into your home this week with OTT’s Babysitting Service. Make time for yourself, and your children.
• When in doubt, watch out for the babysitter who’s using her powers for evil.
• Let me handle your kids while you go grab yourself a drink
• If your babysitter asks you to take out the trash, it’s a good sign they’re planning on having a good time.
• I’m pretty sure I’m not in charge of the kids you have there.
• He’s not even here, I’m already getting so much attention.
• I spy a suspicious absence of milk in the fridge.
• This is what I do, this is who I am. And you’re welcome
• I’m 100% trustworthy, but I have a secret: I am semi-randomly irresponsible.
• You know you’re supposed to be sleeping, but I just can’t.
• “What is the funniest thing you’ve ever done while babysitting?”
• If you ever need a babysitter that sits on your lap and sings to you while you watch TV, call us.
• There’s nothing like watching your kid grow up to be the best babysitter ever.
• The best way to get your kid to do something is to pretend you’re doing it.
• You can’t tell me what to do. I’m just a baby!
• A babysitting job is hard work, but the pay is good (and they love my mini corgi!).
• My kid’s on their way, but before they get here I need to tell you about my new top, which was just delivered.
• I will be here for you until your bedtime, but I can’t stay awake forever.
• I know the kids are going to be fine, but I’m glad we got to spend some time together.
• Do you have a baby? If yes, do you want to babysit?
• Let’s get the kids to fall asleep with some funny babysitting quotes.
• If you’re still looking for a babysitter, we can help!
• The easiest babysitting job is the one you don’t want to do.
• Babysitting is the most fun you’ll ever have with your clothes on.
• Babysitter: So, you’ve decided to have a baby? You should have asked me first. Babysitter: I’m sorry, who are you? Baby: I’m the babysitter.
• Have you tried to set a table with a baby yet?
• You know the saying, “Don’t leave your baby unattended.” Well it should also say, “Don’t leave your baby with a babysitter who can’t laugh at themselves.”
• I’m going to need you to babysit my dog this evening
• Being a good babysitter is all about playing it smart, not rushing in to help and keeping them entertained.
• When you’re going to the store and the babysitter says, “Are you sure you want to go there? It’s pretty dangerous in there.”
• Always make sure your kid’s have clean hands if they’re in charge of the remote or the volume. #Babysitting
• I’m not sure we should have left them alone for so long.
• The babysitter is clumsy, but she’s adorable.
• I’m a babysitter for little ones who need their own set of pants. #babysitting
• Hey, kids! Be sure to feed your babysitter because she’s hungry
• I’m babysitting the babysitter, who’s babysitting the baby and all her toys.
• Just because you’re a babysitter, doesn’t mean you can’t be cool too.
• When your job as a babysitter involves taking care of kids that look like they belong in Jurassic Park
• I’ve got your back, baby. Don’t worry about a thing. #Babysitter
• Don’t leave your baby in the hands of a professional. Make them their own babysitter!
• If you’re looking for a babysitter, I’m your girl. I’ll pretend to be a baby and drink your milkshake all night long.
• Babysitting is hard work. But when you’re a pug, it’s even harder.
• Why you should make sure your kids play with these 10 toys.
• A babysitting adventure is just what your little one needs.
• Tag your babysitters and get the inside scoop on what it’s like to be a real-life best friend to little ones
• Babysitting 101: Protect the belongings of your charges, clean up after them and make sure they don’t do anything dumb.
• You can’t babysit your kid. They can do anything.
• Oh, your baby is such a handful. I feel like I’m babysitting an adult and not a child #Babysitting
• I’m leaving you in the hands of the babysitter. I’m outta here.
• When you have to go to work, but your kid doesn’t want to go home.
• The best babysitter: being too tired to get up #dadblogger
• Whether you’re looking for something to do with the kids or just want a laugh, we’ve got it covered.
• Hey mom, it’s just me. I’m here to make sure he doesn’t go back to sleep again! #sleepover
• I have an older, wiser baby. He’s got a lot of wisdom, but he still needs someone to help him out with everyday things
• So your kid is napping. Great! You can spend time on other things like watching TV, or saying “Let’s go see” everytime you pass a bone.
• You’re the greatest guardian I’ve ever met. You’re too cute to be real.
• Hi, I’m here to watch you sleep tonight. And if it’s a girl, I’d like to name her after my favorite song.
• I’ve got your back with these funny babysitting jokes.
• The babysitter: she’s the best kind of mystery.
• If you’ve never babysat before, here’s what you need to know.
• Babysitting is just like watching a movie, except you get paid.
• Babysitting is tough, but these kind-hearted women are here to help.
• #babysitting is not a real job, it’s a skill. Learn how to be the best babysitter ever!
• It’s actually not that hard to take care of a baby. It’s just about keeping them entertained and making sure they get enough sleep.
• I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not a babysitter. I’m a guardian of human foetuses on the verge of transforming into house plants.
• Bored? Need to kill time? Just sit back and watch these adorable babies play with each other.
• If you really want to break the internet, tell your kids to “Stay in character”.
• I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, is that a baby on the couch?” Nope. #Iknowwhatyoudonotthink
• If you are a babysitter, then you must have an arsenal of funny faces to pull off.
• Babysitting is a dangerous business. Stay sharp and keep your eyes open at all times.
• If you’ve ever babysat, you know that sometimes the most mundane tasks can get pretty interesting.
• I got a babysitting job today and all I am going to say is that I am sorry you didn’t hire me because I am going to be so awesome at it.
• The perfect combination of sweet, sassy, and smart.
• I’m leaving the kids in your hands, but I need to go snort some coke. I’ll be right back!
• I’m not sure what you did in here, but I am pretty sure it was interesting.
• Did you know that kids who are left to their own devices will often end up in a room, alone with a box of Play-Doh?
• She leaves the door unlocked. What could he possibly do in there? The answer: Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.
• Babysitting is a lot more fun when your baby meets you!
• Having a baby is the best babysitting experience ever!
• Just because you’re a babysitter, doesn’t mean you should be boring.
• Don’t leave the kids unattended.
• We’ll take care of your precious little one while you go out and do whatever it is that people who go out and do things do.
• You know it’s going to be a good day when you’re babysitting a baby who sleeps with his hands in his pockets.
• Babysitting is hard, but it’s even harder when you have to babysit the boss’ kids
• Trust me, I’m an adult. I have no idea what’s going on here…but this is hilarious.
• The funniest thing about babysitting: watching your kid eat the same thing for more than two hours.
• Not sure what you are in for. Here’s a few things I have seen.
• I’m the only one who can make you feel good. And I know how to make you laugh.
• It’s hard to stay awake, but it’s even harder to stay silent.
• If your kid is a loudmouth, they may not be able to say “thank you” when they are fed.
• We’re all about the sweet, uncomplicated love of babysitting. We think it’s #funny and see it as a natural extension of this great new app.
• We hate to break it to you, but babysitting is not a good idea.
• The job is to keep your babysitter sane. The glamor is staying insane.
• When you’re a babysitter, you can only be so strict with the kids.
• Good luck on your babysitting assignment, O.J. Fingers.
• Babysitting your child is a lot of responsibility, but I promise that making them smile will make it all worth it.
• When you’re a babysitter and you have to watch your own kid fight with his siblings in front of you.
• When you’re raising a toddler, the only thing you’ll ever want for is to be able to watch your favorite show.
• Please don’t call me when you’re hungry.
• Kid’s don’t just glow in the dark. They glow in the full moon.
• Let your toddlers play and learn from their own stuffy! The messier, the better.
• When you’re a parent and your kid is at the point where they’re asking questions like, “Mommy, how do I get to that building?” You just want to yell, “go! go! run!”
• When your babysitter has a super sweet tooth.
• Let’s talk about babysitting. It’s like a full-time job, but there are no benefits and no vacation policy.
• Babysitting is like therapy for kids. There’s nothing better than a good sitter to listen to their problems, give them hugs, and make them feel better
• It’s nap time, but we need you to make sure this kid actually gets some rest.
• The worst part of babysitting is not the children, it’s watching them watch television.
• When you call me and ask what kids I have, this is the tone I use if it’s not something I know.
• I could totally go for a snack right now, like right this very second.
• I can’t wait to take some babysitting money off you.
• Baby’s are so precious, but they have a short attention span. #Babysitting
• Babysitting is a breeze when you have friends like these.
• Babysitting is a great job. It’s also a good way to practice your social skills and get paid.
• There’s nothing funnier than watching babies try to get down a mountain.
• It’s almost time to go back to school, which means it’s time to babysit again.
• There are two words you need to know when hiring a babysitter: “No” and “Yes”
• When you’re a babysitter, you know that there’s no such thing as a boring day.
• It’s Friday. That means we’re gonna get some serious face time with our favorite babysitter, Netflix.
• If you’ve ever babysat for a kid, then you know how challenging it can be to keep them from moving around too much and ruining the carpet or wallpaper.
• I believe in making my fees as reasonable as possible. I will literally fly you and your baby to any location on earth, for free.